Chapter 12
The film was called 'Snow White and The Hooker'.
Great.
I took a deep breath, hugged my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. I forbade myself to feel uneasy. The large TV in the living quarters flickered to life, and I swallowed. Porn. I had never seen porn in my life. Okay, maybe some erotic flick that Tom had brought home, but he watched it alone, with his mates, while I studied, so I never got to see it. Well, not really anyway. So I had no idea what people did while watching porn. I'd heard Tom and his mates laugh, whistle even, but that was it. I hoped the 93minutes would pass quickly, and I would safely sit through the whole movie with them, act like it was cool with me and I did it on a daily basis.
Jerry momentarily caught my attention, when he leaned forward to snatch the chips off of the table, his dark blue eyes glued on the screen so he wouldn't miss the beginning. He almost knocked Jack's beer can over, groping for the bag, but she didn't notice. Her eyes were on Riddick. And her hands were on him, too. I watched, as she slowly, almost lazily, ran her fingertips up and down Riddick's chest, her other hand clutching a fistful of his shirt, while her one leg casually rested against his. Riddick seemed to be completely uninterested in her, his eyes on the screen, and he sat still, unmoved by her hands travelling over his shirt. He was nursing a beer in his lap, and I knew that sooner or later Jack was going to take the beer's place. And then his other hand slipped down from the back of the couch and came to rest on her shoulders, and I saw the tips of his calloused fingers create small circle patterns on the skin of her arm.
I tore my eyes away from them, a strange feeling filling my stomach. I was hot, and it wasn't from the movie. I felt the heat in my cheeks and throat, and when Jerry handed me a beer, I didn't say no. I took a long gulp, almost breathing hard when I finished, refusing to look at Riddick, or Jack, fixing my eyes on the screen. For a moment, I couldn't even concentrate on what was happening in the film, I didn't even notice it had started, and I really wasn't sure what it was I was seeing… and then reality dawned, and the camera angle in changed a little.
Oh, shit.
I winced. There was a woman sitting on a man's face, and he was…he was…ah, fuck. I couldn't even word it. And suddenly I could hear the faint giggles coming from the other side of the couch, and then a deep rumble that escaped Riddick's chest. I abruptly finished the beer, placed it on the table and reached for another one, my heart racing in my chest. Jerry didn't seem to notice the sounds that Jack coaxed out of Riddick. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that a much better show was going on right there next to him. I had to look. I couldn't not look.
Jack was sitting on Riddick's lap, whispering something into his ear, making him laugh. He was still holding the can in his left hand, but his right one was resting on her thigh, just under the hem of her skirt. I wondered if Jerry registered me staring at them, because he turned to look at me. I was sure my face was flushed, because I felt the heat in my cheeks, and I wondered if someone had turned off the air-conditioning, or whether there were other reasons for me sitting there red as a tomato. If Jerry noticed, he didn't show it.
"Want another beer, Ivy?" he asked, and I nodded. He leaned forward, grabbed a can off of the table.
"Here."
"Thanks."
He handed it to me, and I played with it in my hand. I never was into beer; I always found the taste too bitter. But now.. now I was starting to like it. I realized that they didn't let me drink in the restaurant before because of Imam. I knew he wouldn't have approved of it. I guessed, he wouldn't have approved of me watching porn either.
The Hooker was 'helping out' the dwarves when I looked back at the screen, and I couldn't help but blush. I felt kind of uneasy, probably because I had no experience in that way whatsoever. And when the guy shoved his cock deep down the girl's throat, I choked on the beer, and almost sprayed it's contents over the couch. The alcohol was slowly rising to my head.
"You okay?" Jerry asked me.
'No, I'm not. I don't think I can be okay watching blowjobs on TV with Riddick and Jack putting on a show.'
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "Yeah, fine."
"Never seen a porn movie?"
I laughed, oddly relieved. "Is it that obvious?"
Jerry shrugged. "Nah, but you're all red, so I thought…" he trailed off, smirking.
I slapped his thigh playfully, and he groaned in mock pain, rubbing at it with his hand.
"Okay, I get it," he laughed. "No teasing the lady."
Funny. Second guy in one night to call me a lady. I felt nothing like a lady though. I felt like an ungrateful selfish bitch. Even though I had somewhere to live for three more weeks, Riddick had ensured me a place in the witness program and I was still alive, I felt like I wanted more. I was pissed off at myself. I tried to return my attention to the movie again, but I wanted more than to watch how unknown porn actors jerked off. I wanted more than watch how they fucked each other's brains out. I wanted to experience it myself. And more importantly, I wanted to experience it with Riddick.
I wondered if the movie had the same effect on anyone else. At first I found it tasteless, but the further it got, the more interesting it seemed to be. The room was getting steadily hotter, and I noticed Jerry unbuttoning the first two buttons on his shirt next to me and Jack fanning herself with a magazine, while her other hand busied itself with running along Riddick's jawline. My khakis were sticking to the skin on my legs and the white of my shirt went transparent in my opinion. I was sweating like a pig, and I hated to admit it. I felt aroused.
"I'll go get some water," Jerry said, crossing over my legs and jumping down of the edge of couch. I nodded his way, pretending to be really fascinated with what Snow White was doing to the Hooker. I tore my eyes away from the screen the moment Jerry disappeared round the corner, and bit down on my lip, glancing sideways.
Jack was licking Riddick's earlobe, and I immediately looked away. My head was pounding; from the sight, from the movie, from the alcohol. I dropped my head into my hands, let my hair fall in my eyes, with knowledge that no one was going to ask me what was wrong anyway. It didn't matter. I was just a kid with feelings in the wrong place, for the wrong person. I felt disgusted with myself. I rubbed my face, then slowly looked back up; tried to force my attention back on the movie. I shifted a little to make myself more comfortable and something fell into my lap. Looking down, I noticed it was the rose Riddick had bought me and entwined into my hair earlier in the evening. He was good at fucking with my mind, I had to give him that. I reached for the rose and my palm felt scalded when I held it in my hand. I didn't bother hiding it. No one was going to look my way. They hadn't even noticed Jerry had gone.
I felt agitated and most of all stupid. Riddick emitted a low growl next to me, and I swallowed, my eyes stinging. I couldn't look at them now.
And then, then I felt Riddick shifting his weight on the couch, and when I looked up at him, he was standing next to it, with Jack scooped up in his big arms, kissing his neck. He never once looked at me. And slowly, slowly he turned around and walked past the couch, leaving the living quarters with her through the dark of the corridor.
It felt like someone had kicked me in the gut, and I sucked in my lurching stomach and closed my eyes. My heart was racing and my head reeling. So confused; I was so confused and hurt and betrayed.
The door from the kitchen opened and closed, and I swallowed back the tears that were threatening to spill in front of Jerry. I let my eyes rest on the TV screen. Everything that was happening in the movie was coming to me fuzzy, blurry and in a daze, and I let my long hair hang in my face, so Jerry couldn't see me straight of. Not until I calmed down.
I heard him pause above the couch, take a look around.
"They gone?" he asked.
I nodded, mutely.
"Want water?"
I nodded again, without looking at him.
A hand with a water bottle lowered itself in front of me, and I thanked him; immediately popped it open and took a long gulp. I didn't know I was so thirsty. I just wanted to swallow away the feelings that were haunting me, wanted to wash it all away. So I drank it all, and licked my lips; but the feeling didn't disappear. I cleared my throat.
"I think I'll go to bed," I said, my voice sounding like a stranger's. "I could use some rest."
"Sure. See ya in the morning, Ivy." He reached into a bowl for some chips and took a handful out. "I think I'll finish the movie though."
I laughed. I was surprised that I could actually laugh genuinely. I slowly lifted my aching limbs from the couch and staggered over to the corridor. It was a long time since I had any alcohol and it showed itself in my walk.
"Watch out there," I heard Jerry chuckle, and I cringed. I didn't feel drunk, but my head felt heavy. And I felt exhausted.
I realized I was still clutching the rose when the darkness of the corridor had me. I could feel its warm petals pressing into my palm, and I felt my skin burn. I groped my way around, but I found it a lot easier than last time. And the time before that. I was starting to orient myself in the dark.
My hand found the knob to Jerry's bedroom, and I pushed the door open.
In the blackness, I wasn't sure what I was seeing at first.
It came to me so unreal like. Covered in a mist. Like a trick my mind was playing on me. Everything hidden in the dark, peeking out at me like a tantalizing puzzle that wanted to be solved. I saw shadows, outlines of shapes, breathing. The faint glow of sweat glistening. Slow measured movements. And then my eyes got used to the dark, and I saw it; saw them. Two bodies, flinching, convulsing, his mouth on hers, their hips on each other. The room was hot, and spinning, my senses on fire, and then everything went still. I heard the music from the movie coming through the corridor, took in the musky smell of the room.
And then he looked up, and I saw him staring right back at me. The two silver pools. Noticing me.
Chapter 13
My hand went to cover my mouth.
And then I moved, out of there, out of there before he had a chance to say something, before she noticed me, too. Before I had a chance to fall into a crying heap in the doorframe, or at his feet.
Because I felt like I would cry.
The door to the bathroom slammed shut in my back, and I locked it with trembling fingers. And then I just stood there, paralyzed, silent tears filling my eyes and dropping down my face. I knew what'd happened; they'd been in such a rush before they hadn't noticed whose room they'd gone to.
The reflection of myself in the mirror stared back at me. It didn't look like me. I used to be happy. I used to smile a lot. This wasn't me. I wasn't this crying baby. In the darkness of the bathroom I looked like a ghost. I was so pale, and shaking. It frightened me.
I didn't know how much time had passed, but I knew I couldn't stay locked up in the bathroom forever. Jerry would finish the movie and go to bed, and Riddick…
I gasped, sobbing. He saw me. And I saw him. I would have given just about anything not to see him there with Jack. Not to know. I covered my mouth again and tried to stifle the sobs. My ragged breaths were echoing round the room, bouncing back from the tiles and making my head pound. I tried to stay quiet, tried to not cry, I really did. But I couldn't stop the tears from flooding.
And then I finally stopped crying, and wiped my eyes. I knew I couldn't just go back, go back and act normal; like I hadn't seen anything. I wished there was another room, just for me, where I could have locked myself away, but there wasn't, and I knew I had to leave the bathroom sooner or later. I knew they'd go looking for me. So I rubbed my face and searched blindly for a tissue in one of the drawers, wiped my nose, then washed my face. The cold droplets of water trickled down my hot cheeks, while I held my hair back behind my ears, enjoying the numbness that was slowly crawling into my body. When I looked up into the mirror again, I looked okay, apart from my eyes. They were wet, shiny, glowing in the darkness almost like Riddick's.
The knock on the door came so unexpectedly, that I flinched. The person had to know I locked the door, because he didn't try it. I waited, bearing myself for the verbal attack that I was sure would come, and then,
"Ivy? Open the door."
And Riddick's voice shot through the wall, and hit me like a wave, and I gasped, started trembling uncontrollably. The low growl washed over me, and I felt scalded, burned.
"Sure," I choked, hoping I sounded and looked normal, but I knew I didn't. But still, I came to the door, hesitantly reached for the key and unlocked it. I was scared he would knock the door out and yell at me for walking in on them. I was scared he would spit in my face what a nosey little brat I was. I was terrified he would look at me… and hate me. But there was silence, so I stepped back into the room, made room for him to enter. I watched as the door slowly cracked open, letting some of the light in from the corridor. And then I turned around, because I found I couldn't face him. Not without letting the tears fall again.
The room was loaded in deafening silence, and my pain, as the door opened fully. I heard him stop in the doorframe, felt his eyes on me; his knowing eyes watching my every reaction, burning a hole into my back.
"What's the matter, kid?" His voice was soft, and I felt like I would cry.
'What's the matter?! What do you think? That I'm okay with seeing you fuck Jack's brains out? That what you think? Shouldn't you just yell at me, Riddick? Go on, do it. Tell me how I fucked up. You already did a few days back..what's stopping you know??'
My brain was going into overdrive, a sick mantra filling my head, and I bit down on my lip. It was no use trying to suppress the tears.
"Nothing, Riddick. Everything's fine."
He sighed, and I could feel him walking up to me with slow purpose, the floor creaking under his weight. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to feel the pain anymore.
"You're lying, babe."
My breath caught in my throat, and I looked up at the ceiling, tried to blink away the tears. He slowly moved, until he stood directly behind me.
"You're lying," he growled.
"Yeah..?" I muttered. "How do you know?"
"I know you."
I recognized concern in his voice, but there was something more I couldn't distinguish. I was absently clutching the rose in my hand as if I wanted to fuse it with my palm, and I let a half-laugh escape my chest, let the sarcasm show to him.
"In six days, huh, Riddick?"
His hands went to my shoulders.
"I know how you feel," he said. "And I know what you want."
My breathing hitched. He knew? All I could think about were his hands on me. His face between Jack's thighs. I was silently begging him to take his hands away from me, leave me alone. My shoulders felt heavy below the weight of him and my whole body was aching. Aching for something. For him.
"You know?" I asked, quietly.
He sighed, his hands dropping to my arms. I was shaking underneath him. He had to feel it. And he gently turned me around then, his eyes never once leaving me. I didn't fight him. I let him turn me around, but I didn't look up at him. I couldn't. I felt like he could see right through me, because his hands fell to his sides, off of me. Like he didn't want to touch me.
"Look at me, kid," he rumbled.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Concentrated on just breathing.
"Evelyn, look at me," he nudged, gently. And then he reached out with his hand and tilted my head up with a knuckle. Our eyes met, and his locked onto mine. I felt my heart jump. The silver of his eyes flashed a little, and then his gaze softened. He brushed a damp lock of my hair behind my ear with his fingers, and then studied my face, while I studied his. The utter beauty in the man, the animal within. The only man I wanted, and ironically could never have. His eyes were glazed and his lids heavy and his breathing shallow. I wanted to beg him to take me in his arms and ease the pain away, but I knew it couldn't be like that. It was like he could read my mind.
"Ivy, and you know it's wrong," he said, softly, his eyes melting mine. "I'm an escaped convict, and they're looking for me."
I felt like hitting something. Felt like screaming. It was so unfair. "But-"
His hand came out again, and he took mine in his warm blunt palm, and I watched him splay out my fingers; my pulse racing at his touch. And then I realized why he did it, because my hand opened up to him and he saw the rose I was clutching all night long. My little pathetic secret was revealed to the beast. I swallowed and waited for the blow in the gut I thought that would come. He slowly dragged his eyes up to mine. He didn't yell at me, though. He didn't laugh at me. But the few seconds as I watched the frown grow on his face were torture. The deep creases in his brow. And then he ran a hand over the stubble on his head.
"I'm a murderer." He said, his voice suddenly raspy. "Fuck that, you know? But you want something and I can't give it to you. Never."
He searched my face, and stepped back from me.
"Go to bed, kid."
My mind was reeling. Screaming at him to take it back. To hold me. Just like he did with Jack. But he didn't. He moved away from me, and disappeared through the door, the darkness claiming him.
Chapter 14
Note:The song played is 'Deep Enough' by Live
No.
That was the only word that would come to mind. No. Please. I wanted to scream, wanted him to take what he'd said back. But all I did was stand there, enveloped in utter darkness of the room, silent tears filling my treacherous eyes, Riddick's words ringing in my ears.
You want something, kid, and I can't give it to you.
Pain. So much pain I thought I couldn't take more any longer. And the room was so silent. Deafening. Giving me no other distraction, than to focus on my misery alone.
Never.
I felt cold. Felt that all the colour had drained from me and when I reached up with a trembling hand to touch my face, I found my cheeks and throat burning.
I realized I didn't know what to do now. I had three more weeks to stay on Riddick's ship, and then he would be gone forever from my life. It was an inevitable silent truth everyone understood and complied on. Even Jack. How was I supposed to act around her now? Had she seen me? Seen me in the bedroom's doorframe staring at her, at them, in shock? Riddick evidently wasn't mad at me for barging in on them. He was angry because of what I felt towards him. I knew that this realization created a huge barrier between us. It was like he would block me out from his life for the next three weeks. Start pushing me away. And if Jack hadn't seen me there in the doorframe, would he tell her himself? Would she start hating me too? Would she laugh at me?
But how, how could he have known? Was I that transparent? Shit. The rose. That damn rose had given me away. I never should have let him bought it. Never should have let him entwine it in my hair.
Sniffling, I stumbled out of the bathroom into the dark corridor, shoving all of the thoughts aside. It didn't matter. Tom once told me one should never count too much on others' opinions. That way you give them too much credit.
The door to Riddick's bedroom was cracked open.
Go to bed, kid.
That what he meant? Go sleep in his room, while he went to join Jack in Jerry's bedroom? Probably. There was no other bed free, and he never left his room open. He guarded his privacy well. So I figured he had to mean his room.
Riddick's bedroom was. . .
. . .nothing special. I didn't know what I was expecting. Something extravagant? Different? How much different? These questions brought a smile to my face. Riddick, even though different, had an absolutely normal room like any other ship captain would.
It was minimalistic, nothing mushy, nothing standing out. There was no light, obviously, no lamps, the walls gray, the floor gray. There was a closet built into the wall and a sofa on the other side of the room and a holo-computer panel at his bed. That was it. As much as it was ordinary, the room's scent wasn't. It was loaded in musk. Spice. His smell. It was like being in Riddick's presence even though he wasn't there. It confused my senses.
A blanket lay prepared on the bed suggesting my sleeping place, but I knew I couldn't sleep in his bed. That would have been too much for me. So I snatched the blanket off of the covers and sat down on the couch, taking in the room's atmosphere. I wondered how the hell I was going to fall asleep in here, when everything reminded me of... him. Rubbing my face, I sighed. Thinking about sleeping was not going to help me fall asleep, so I had to try doing the deed alone. I rested my back against the softness of the sofa and stretched out.
I became aware of the scent again. Riddick's scent. I sat up, straight, and my eyes flickered around the room. Strange, I could have sworn. . .
I lay back down. My brain was probably still on over-drive from what I had previously seen. I couldn't believe one man could get me so interested (and hot). He was like no one I had ever met. I wondered why that was… why out of all the men in the galaxy I had to be damn attracted to an escaped convict and a murderer at that. I knew it was because of all those little things too… his sarcastic lopsided grins and the smirks and his casual pose with his arms crossed and eye-brow raised. The way he put on his goggles and the way he smiled at me. I was smitten and I couldn't shake the image of a topless Riddick in the gym. Of course, that picture was only a small way away from the image of him and Jack which I tried to shake.
But his physical attributes weren't the only things that um turned me on. It was his coolness and nonchalance, his sarcasm and jokes that I loved also. And that voice. Oh boy that voice! I had shivers running up and down my spine every time I heard it. Riddick was a smart man. I knew that voice helped him get a few trophies.
And the animal in him? His animal beauty? I was scared of that part of him. Scared and excited at the same time. He often reminded me of a beast and sometimes… sometimes it seemed like it actually was inside of him and he was fighting it. Keeping it caged. I wondered if that was why he had those damned mood swings every other minute.
Riddick's presence enveloped me from all sides, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. Maybe it was not going to be that hard to fall asleep after all. . .
"Hey, girl."
My eyes snapped open and I sprung up. I caught sight of a black figure in the doorway, outlined by light coming from the corridor. Jack.
She was leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed, but the tone of her voice didn't indicate that she was mad, or pissed, or going to yell at me to get my ass out of her man's room.
I pushed a hand through my hair and stifled a yawn. "Hey, Jack."
We stared at each other for a while and then Jack smiled and went to sit on Riddick's bed, facing me. "So. . ."
"So. . .?"
She grinned, then ran her hand over Riddick's bed. "Riddick and I… we not waking you, are we?"
I swallowed, knowing exactly what she meant. "Nah. I'm good."
She nodded, smugly. "You know… out of all the places we have-" she smirked. "-we've never actually done it on this bed."
I forced a smile, clutching the blanket in my fists. It appeared Jack had no idea about me fantasizing about her convict that she talked to me about it so freely- or maybe… maybe she knew damn well.
And that's why she did it.
"Yeah, well…" She interrupted my thoughts. "You see Riddick now?"
I looked up. "He's not… with you?"
Jack shook her head, then shrugged. "Dunno where he at. It was all alright until he said he needed to check on something, like twenty minutes ago… and yeah, didn't turn up yet, so I went 'searching' for him." She made quotation mark signs with her fingers. "So…" She gave me a questioning look, "you see him, then?"
'That means she still doesn't know about the incident in the bathroom with you crying your eyes out, girlie? Looks good so far. Maybe she won't have to know about it after all.'
"You okay?" she asked, her big green eyes watching me. I could swear there was a deeper meaning to her question.
"Yeah…" 'Get a grip!' "I just didn't get much sleep, Jack. That's all."
She laughed, lightly. "Me either."
Twenty minutes ago Riddick had been in the bathroom with me telling me what I felt towards him was wrong. Great.
"Ivy?"
"Yeah, I saw him," I said, biting my cheek. "He'd told me I could sleep in his room, since… yeah."
Jack smiled, almost sheepishly. "Sorry. We kinda… well, he was the one who reached for the wrong door knob."
I nodded, mutely. "Sokay." My feelings towards her were swaying between best friend/worst enemy and I couldn't make up my mind. "So…" I muttered. "You two… going out for a long time now?"
Jack burst out in laughter, but the smile on her face died quickly. She sighed deeply. "Oh God, I wish," she chuckled. "He's… Riddick's my dream man, see… the only man I've ever wanted. Even though I've had different guys…" She trailed off in thought. "No one was with me -ever- like he is. He's… different. Special."
'You can say that again.'
I gave Jack a weak smile, but she shrugged. "But there's a problem." She said, flatly.
"What problem?"
"The big guy doesn't love me," she said matter-of-factly, rubbing her forehead. "He'd told me once I taught him how to smile again… showed him how to hug again… and once he'd even let it sound like he felt I was his humanity." She smiled and looked at me. "But, evidently, I didn't teach him how to love."
I gazed at her in silent shock. I couldn't put it together. Anyone who would see them together would think they were a couple. They were perfect for each other. And when Jerry had told me that Riddick never did love her I thought that maybe he'd taken it all wrong. Obviously not.
It didn't seem to bother Jack too much though. Riddick was fucking her and that seemed enough for her. Why want more, right? On top of that, she got to see him once every year. And that was no good for love. This way they both got what they wanted and there were no problems.
"The first time…" she continued, "he'd told me he couldn't stay with me and love me," she said with a half-smile, half-sigh. "But," she added, mischievously. "That never stopped him from fucking my brains out every time he came to visit."
I blinked. It occurred to me, suddenly. No guilt. He didn't feel any guilt. He'd fuck the only woman that loved to him and he wouldn't feel any guilt. What the-? I'd seen guilt on his face. I had. So why hadn't Jack? I'd seen guilt when he'd found me in the bathroom. I'd seen guilt when he'd held my open palm with the rose in his hand. If he'd tried protecting me from himself, why not Jack? She had to mean a lot to him, right?
I shook my head, trying to get rid off the thought. What the hell was wrong with me? Was I trying to, selfishly, find a logical explanation to the fact that he didn't want to fuck me? I'd heard the cops at the police station joking about all the brothels they'd been to trying to catch Riddick there. I'd heard them joking about all the whores he'd been with. And Jack, the most precious thing in his life, according to everything I'd seen so far, was his 'fuck-and-throw-away' toy. So why couldn't he. . .?
"So-" Jack jumped into my new line of thoughts. "Even though the man don't actually love me, you can imagine what happens every time he knocks at my bedroom door when he's on Morpheus." She smirked. "I get no sleep."
I grinned back at her, but I was cringing on the inside.
'So you want Big Evil to put you down on his to-fuck list, too, Evelyn Chow? How wonderful.' Damn.
"Sometimes I wish he'd stay with me… be with me. Take me away from this dull planet and love me… but I know now that won't happen and I've stopped dreaming long ago." Smiling a little, Jack gave me a funny look. "And now to the question- why am I telling you all this, Ivy?"
I laughed, and she laughed back, amused. "I don't know, you like to chat?"
She rolled her eyes. "Close. But no. I don't think so," she said. "I think I like you."
I choked. "What?"
She grinned. "Yeah. I like you, Jerry's girl."
I choked again, this time for real. "What?" 'Jerry's girl??'
Jack gave me a teasing smile. "Calm down, Ivy. I just thought you two would make a nice couple. You look good together."
I bit down on my lip and forced myself to relax. I was relieved she didn't say something about Jerry liking me more… and stuff like that. "Yeah, well, we're just friends, Jack. No relationship there."
Jack laughed, thoughtfully. "So far," she said. "I think it only matter of time before the man asks you out." She wiggled her eyebrows knowingly.
I laughed back, rather uneasily. Anything but that. I didn't want to ruin my friendship with Jerry because of some hormone the body produces. The same thing had happened with Tom. We'd been friends until he'd asked me out. And when I refused, he didn't take it too well and just started ignoring me altogether. "No, I think I'd notice if he wanted more," I said, quickly. "Jerry just doesn't like me… like that."
Jack raised her eyebrow. "Sometimes it's hard to tell what a man wants, Evelyn."
I tore my eyes away from her, guiltily, trying to banish the images of Riddick flashing before me.
* * * * *
Next day, Jack took me shopping. We made ourselves breakfast in the kitchen, waffles with honey and dark English tea, and when we finished eating, we cleaned up from last night. The living room smelled of onions and vinegar and alcohol and, in all, was a complete disaster. Cans of beer lay scattered around the whole place, packets from chips decorated every chair and table, plates with leftovers ornamented the sofa and the rug in front of the entertainment system was enriched by a stain the size of America.
Jack took out her apron, handed me the other one, and we got on our knees and tried to lesser the damage. She turned the air-conditioning in the room to max and put on her favorite party mix, and we cleaned up to rock music while the air from the a/c tangled our hair. I couldn't believe that a/c could create wind of such force. Jack just laughed.
"I'm gonna kick Riddick's ass for this," she muttered an hour later. "And Jerry's. They're gone who-knows-where and they leave it up to us to clean up their mess." She blew a lock of hair from her face and turned to look at me. "I say, lets leave them their share and go have some fun."
I nodded, grinning. As much as I didn't enjoy myself in school, I didn't want to chase a career of a full-time cleaner.
We took change using the bathroom, and Jack let me have some of her older clothes. Older clothes, but probably the nicest and priciest clothes I've ever seen in my life. I left them on a chair and undressed.
Water pearls trickled down my body. I sighed and tilted my head to give the shower jets a chance to massage the other side of my neck, too. I felt all the tension built-up in me slowly leaving. The water was almost scalding hot, my temperature, and I relaxed under the spray. I used a sponge to clean myself, washing away all the dirt from the previous cleaning of the living room, shaved my legs and armpits, and washed my hair. Jack let me use her shower gel- raspberry- and I could smell it long after I left the bath.
Stepping out, I wrapped a warm towel around my body. Funny how easily I grew close to Riddick's ship. And to Riddick. To Jerry. I didn't remember being this close to my parents. They'd died in a car crash when I was four, before I had a chance to get to know them, love them. I only had little pieces of memories here and there, limited photographs of them and a small kid, but no emotions. No feelings. It was like looking at strangers most of the times. I'd lived with aunt Rosie for a while and then went to a boarding school. When I was old enough to change schools, I found myself a flat to live in. With a flat-mate. Tom. I'd lived with him for two years before-
"You get your lazy ass outta there, girl, or else I'ma have to go and drag ya out myself!" Jack's teasing voice shot through the bathroom wall, and I had to laugh. I did like her.
* * * * *
I came out of the bathroom in what could have hardly passed off as a mini skirt. It was black and leather, and it had a stylish rip at the side. I liked it, and, surprisingly, I could walk in it. On the other hand, the sheer top over the black bra I was wearing didn't excite me that much. I felt uncomfortable knowing that the piece of clothing over my upper-half was see-through, even though I had, in Jack's words, a show-off bra.
"Jack. . .?" I said in what really had to be a desperate voice, and she just waved her hand and grunted,
"I hear you, I hear you! Don't say a word and go put this on." She pushed me back into the bathroom with a turquoise top on thin straps, and I smiled inwardly. This ought to do it.
* * * * *
Dance-club Gringo:
Packed, hot and crowded. The air was full of sweat and pricey perfumes. I watched the people on the dance-floor completely absorbed in the pre-historical mating ritual- dance. From what I saw, mating rituals didn't change the least over the years. The girls were still getting groped by pigs. I almost snorted in laughter. Some of it was too funny to watch. Some of it though. . .
I pushed myself through the mass of sweating bodies, trying to find Jack somewhere. I lost her in the crowd. People were rubbing their bodies against each other, moving their hips to the mad beat of the salsa and shaking their asses. The way they were touching each other was making me hot, until I felt a hand on my ass, and jumped.
The guy was sleazy, with a shit-eating grin on his face, and I had to hold myself not to "feel" him right back. I gave him a look and moved away from him, cringing, while listening to him call out compliment-wannabes about my butt.
Does he run it deep enough
to take you there?
does he run it deep enough
oh tell me baby
does he run it deep enough?
tell me, tell me
does he run it deep enough?
does he run it deep enough for you?
We hit a couch, the place was packed with sweaty palms,
sweaty thongs, and sweaty backs,
my mouth was dry,
my brain cold high,
the groove was right,
so I decided to ignite
your eyes met mine,
you skirt began to rise,
and so did I now you know that I took that prize in the middle of the club,
in the middle of the club, in the middle of club now tell me!
Heat.
Need.
Passion.
Out of control.
Dancing the night away.
I'd been in such a trance I realized I'd completely lost it and surrendered myself to the groove not after the song had ended.
Long locks of wavy honey-brown hair were sticking to my shoulders and were damp on my neck, shimmering from sweat, and my skin was glistening under the pale light. My whole body was in a pleasurable state of ache and I was hot. Absolutely hot, my blood throbbing in my veins. I felt incredibly high, and suddenly, irresistible. It was nothing like I ever experienced, but the nice clothes and even unwanted attention were a proof to me that I could, in fact, look attractive to other people. And I desperately needed that kind of attention.
Someone tapped on my shoulder, and I turned around to see who it was.
'Oh, shit.'
Riddick.
"Hey, kid."
I flinched. His voice was low, but soft. I felt him studying me despite the goggles on his eyes. I brushed a lock of hair behind my ear nervously. "Riddick? What are you doing here?" I blabbered out, kicking myself mentally. Did I ever mention irresistible? Attractive for the first time in my life? Who was I kidding. I could never be attractive to a man like him.
A grin appeared on Riddick's otherwise expressionless face. "Let me ask first, kid. Where did you learn to shake it like that?"
I blushed furiously and looked away into the crowd. I felt his attention on me still. I slowly dragged my eyes back to meet his, all the time trying just to breathe. "I'm scared to ask what you saw," I said, with a lopsided smile, and I watched the smile on his lips grow, too. "It was… nothing, just dancing."
He cocked a brow. "Nothing, huh? You notice the looks you were getting, kid?"
I shook my head, the stupid half-smile firmly fixed on my face, and he chuckled. "Yeah, good thing I got here in time- before you managed to break every guy's heart on the dancefloor."
I went red once more, and I couldn't get rid off the flush. Sheeesh. I didn't know how to act around him. I wondered how at ease he was with me now, since he knew about my feelings. But he didn't bring it back up and he seemed rather oblivious to the fact that I'd been crying… for him. He acted like it had never happened, or maybe like it had happened but it was a thing of the past. He probably didn't want to make me more uncomfortable. And he probably needed to find a way how to act around me, too. And treating me like a friend(who he was never going to see again in two weeks) was easy enough. I was grateful.
Sometimes, when I was deep in thought, I wondered how people could believe all that shit written in his files. How a person judges on another person's opinion. How one bribed police-officer can make hell out of one's life. I understood it now all, perfectly. Riddick was just fighting for survival.
"You see Jack?" he rumbled. There was a slight discomfort in his voice, like he weren't comfortable with talking about her with me. "We s'posed to be meeting here. See her anywhere?"
I shook my head. "Lost her in the crowd earlier." I looked around. "The place is too crowded, I don't think I'd find myself in here if I got lost."
Riddick nodded in understanding, and then he ran his tongue over his lower lip like he were deciding on something. "That leaves us to it then, huh," he said, then raised an eye-brow at me. "Wanna go get a drink, kid?" He pointed his thumb in the general direction of the bar.
A smile appeared on my face. I grinned. "Wanna get me drunk?"
"Depends."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Depends on?"
"Depends on what you drink," he chuckled. "And since you're not legal yet, I assume you won't get drunk drinking that fuzzy, lemonade shit." I could tell he figured I was disappointed that he didn't want to see me drink. 'You're still a kid to him, that's what you are.'
"I'm gonna be eighteen in two days," I said, in a hurry.
Riddick tilted his head, and gave me a cocky grin. "Is that so?"
"Yes."
He scratched his chin. "That makes you a big girl then, eh?"
I nodded again, a little too eagerly in anticipation.
"So, what are you suggesting we do about it?" he asked, smirking. "I could let you drink… but you gotta do something for me- you in?" He watched me cross my arms over my chest, and then he chuckled. "What do you say, kid?"
"I have to do something for you?" I repeated, a smile twitching at the corner of my lips. "And what if I don't? What if, say, it's too much?" I tried to hide my excitement. He had to know I'd do anything for him. Especially with extra booze in my blood. I was just praying to God for Jack not to show up and drag Riddick off to fuck. "What then, Riddick?"
"Then I'll have to find a way to punish you," he laughed, the rumble making me shiver all over. "You can do the laundry in the ship for a week. Or scrub the cargo hold clean. Or-"
"I get it!" I cut him off, scoffing, trying to hide the disappointment, even though I wasn't expecting anything... exciting. "I get it." My composure seemed to be back. "You got yourself a deal, Captain."
"Good," he said, matter-of-fact. And then, something in him changed and I caught the wicked flash of white teeth against the caramel brown of his skin as he leaned closer to me, his mouth by my ear.
"Evelyn," he said, his voice a low, seductive purr, and I could feel his hot breath on my flesh like a balm. "You don't want to know what I got in store for you."