Chapter 9; Letting Go, Hate never does
Riddick looked down at Cara "I said I love you" he told her knowing she was going to ask him to repeat it.
"I know I heard you, I guess I just don't know how to answer that" she told him.
"You don't have an answer for me because I didn't ask a question" he told her grinning.
"Oh you idiot, I love you too" she said.
He spanked her bottom playfully, "They talk about how hard and trying it is to say those three words, how they change everything and make it different", he looked down at her.
"They were so full of shit" she said grinning.
He laughed "Ya I think they were".
"People think to much sometimes. I mean thinking is a good thing, we just over analyze some things and we talk and play out something till it's dead. I want to have some thing left to just experience ya know? Something left to just happen and to flow with no preconceptions and no thoughts. I guess sometimes we just talk to much and act to little" she told him.
He grinned "I totally agree, actually I think we need to talk less and act more right now".
She felt his hand streak up her naked back "You animal" she said.
"Do you mind?"
"Are you crazy?"
He crossed his eyes saying "Some people think me to be a mad man"
She laughed, "I'd have to agree"
"Really?" he asked sombering up a bit.
"Yep, only a mad man could be such a demon in bed" she said jumping up and running for the bedroom.
"Prepare yourself to be possessed then" he said taking off after her.
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Sam couldn't shake the chill Jack had left her with. She hadn't meant to offend Jack but she succeeded in doing just that. She had just wanted to know how Riddick was!
Why do I want to know how he is, why do I care?, she asked herself. Because he's part of mom and Dillions lives she told herself and then shook her head. "Lying to yourself is as unhealthy as all these jumbled emotions" she said to herself. She went to unlock the door to her apartment and found it to be open already.
"God Seth, Charley let you in didn't he" she said walking through the door. Seth grinned from the couch
"Yep he still can't figure out why you haven't gotten me a key yet" he said dripping chocolate ice cream down his chin.
"Because you pig, it's my apartment" she told him scowling.
"I spend more time here than you do though" he said.
"I'm noticing it too" she said staring into her nearly empty fridge.
"Hey a man has to eat" he said.
"You're not a man you're something else entirely" she said and he snorted. God I've started something with a complete pig she thought to herself.
-----
Jack busied herself waiting for her family to arrive. She was smoothing out the train to her wedding dress. It was a beautiful white silk dress, with lace and beadery to boot on it. She'd refused at first exclaiming such a dress didn't belong on someone like her. But Harold had convinced her to get it and in the end she was glad. She'd never admit it to anyone but standing in that wedding boutique her body incased in silk and lace she'd felt for a minute like a beautiful fragile woman, and it felt good.
That's the way Harold made her feel, completely loved and adored. She'd always been Jack, good Ol' capable Jack who could rough house with the boys and get dirty and could always take care of herself. That was good, that was how she'd built herself up to be perceived. She wanted to be capable and she'd wanted people to know she didn't need anyone to take care of her.
But sometimes it got old. She knew she was never the type that men wanted. They wanted a woman who would bat her eyelashes at them, who would shriek and jump into their arms at the first sign of danger. Men didn't want someone who could bloody their nose if she thought she needed to.
Harold had changed all that. That day he went back to the community center with Jack. He spent all afternoon with her quietly watching her work with the kids, he'd smile and ask her questions about them. At the end of the afternoon when most of the children were leaving Jack had a lesson to give. She'd been working on self defense with a couple of boys. She'd finished her lesson and walked over to the benches to get her water bottle and saw Harold and Lissa sitting there.
"You're very good with the kids Jack" he had said.
"It just takes patience and a little bit of nerve to deal with them" she told him.
"Yes but you're good with them, you get down on their level when you're talking with them. You're one of the few adults I've watched that actually talk to the kids, not down at them. It's a gift" he told her.
"Maybe it's because I've never considered myself as being much of an adult. I'm very much a child who's got a lot to learn" she said taking a drink of her bottle.
"What do you think of Lissa?" he asked her.
"I don't know I think she's extremely bright. She's always sketching and drawing, her pictures could be hung in galleries" Jack said.
He grinned, "And about her being deaf?" he then asked.
"I don't think much about it" Jack said honestly.
"Really, most people can't seem to get past that part of her" he commented.
"Most people are can't get past themselves either" she said.
He laughed at her "You're different Jack".
"Ya that's me, Jack who's different and not quite like anyone else" she said off handily.
"I didn't mean that in a bad way Jack" he told her.
She sighed, "It's ok I didn't mean to bite your head off about it. It's just all my life I've been different. What exactly does that mean? Everytime I turn around someone's saying you're just some thing else Jack or you're different but they never tell me how I'm different or what exactly I am" she said sitting down.
"You're not the same as most girls. You're very capable. Men know when you say something it's honest and you mean business. There's no bullshitting with you, if it's important enough to say you figure why beat around the bush with it. You don't play games, more than likely because you don't see the point in it. You're not coy, at least not in the way a lot of females are" he told her.
"Great! So basically I act like a guy, talk like one except I look like a woman. Or are you going to tell me next that the fact that I've got some muscle on me makes me look like a guy as well" she said.
"No you're very much a female" he said meaningly. "I love that you're capable, I had the games and the coyness most woman represent themselves with. It's disrespectful to them and to me, I find it a waste of my time and theirs" he said.
"Well then we should get a long fine. I don't think I could be coy at a all, I just can't seem to say anything without being straight forward or sometimes a little blunt" she told him.
"I know which is why you're going to come home and have dinner with me" he said and she looked at him, "That is if you'd except that as an offer" he told her.
She did and since then she's never regretted it. Harold made her feel some fragile, he held her like she was fine porcelain. He knew she wouldn't break but still he cherished her as though she would. And when they made love they did with fever and passion.
Jack never knew you ould relish in a moment they way she had with Harold. One night a month or two later they laid in bed a tangle of her hair and sweat. Breathless and spent he asked her why she was the way she was and she answered him simply "Because that's the way my father taught me to be"!
"I like your father then, he taught you the importance in life and the little things" he said.
"Yes I suppose he did, I hope to teach it to my own children someday. If I ever have any that is" she said.
She'd never considered having kids of her own, she'd never thought of marriage but the line spilled from her lips so freely. Without any hesitation Harold asked "Would teach it to Lissa?"
Jack looked up at him "She could be yours, she loves you" he said.
"What about her dad though, shouldn't he have some say in this?" Jack asked.
"Oh, he has a lot of say in it" Harold said.
"Really, he's never mentioned it much" she said.
"He's a quiet man, most people think he's just stupid but he isn't. He likes to sit back and enjoy life without beating it to death with words. It's funny how the most fulfilling things in life can be the simplest" he said.
"Such as?"
"Such as sitting on the front porch together, sharing a kiss or both of them reaching for the same plate at the same time" he said.
She smiled "Or someone's leg brushing you in bed?" She added.
"Yes, I think that no matter how big the argument or how important our sense if pride is swelling if you can lay down in bed and touch feet with the person there everything is going to be alright" he said.
She smiled "Ya I'll teach Lissa, maybe even her dad too" Jack said.
Since then she's never looked back. Lissa and Harold had been a dream come true.
Harold walked into the bed room and found Jack deep in thought. She was softly smoothing her hands over her dress. Sitting there with her long hair twisted around her, clad in her baggy gym shorts and tank top with no make-up and no hair spray she looked as young and innocent as a fifteen year old girl. He heart swelled and he fell in love with her all over again in that moment.
"Jack" he spoke and she looked up to him "They're here" he told her.
Jack ran into the front room literally almost knocking Riddick over. "Dad!" she screamed and jumped into his arms. She wrapped her legs and arms around him in a choking embrace. He hugged her back with the same vigor.
"Baby watch it, I'm an old man now" he said setting her down she went to punch him but he blocked her fist.
"Old man my ass" she said and Cara laughed. Jack hugged Cara "It's so good to see you guys" she said.
"You'd think we'd been separated for years" Cara said smiling.
"Jack here's a softy, too attached to her daddy a few days could be like light years for her" Riddick said laughing.
Later in the evening after the excitement of their arrival was over Riddick walked into the kitchen and found Jack asleep in Harolds lap. Harold smiled and Riddick.
"She's so worn out" Riddick said quietly taking a seat.
"Indeed she is, I keep telling her to slow down" and at that Riddick laughed.
"Telling Jack to slow down is like standing in front of the tornado and telling it that it won't hit you dead on" he said. Harold smiled in agreement.
"Is alright if I carry her to bed?" Riddick asked.
"Sure I need to run out for a bit and get some things" Harold said sensing Riddick wanted some time a lone with Jack.
Riddick walked over and carefully slipped his arms under Jack's body and lifted it to himself. She turned towards him mumbling "...no it's the wrong color" and Riddick looked up at Harold smiling.
"Wedding has her busy even in her sleep I guess".
Harold left and Riddick walked carefully with Jack in his arms back to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and sat back just looking at her. She was his little girl and she was getting married. Never again would he be able to crawl up next to her when he needed comfort, never again would she crawl to him needing shelter from the night. Harold would be there to calm her fears and dry her eyes.
"But she's still my little girl" he whispered. He closed his eyes letting a tear fall and suddenly he felt a warm hand wrap around his. He opened his eyes and saw Jack looking at him. For a moment they just stared at one another and the love and devotion that had formed between them over the years was alive in that fixated glaze. He felt the intensity of his love and protection for her swell inside him.
Jack stared deeply into Riddicks eyes. She knew now how hard letting go was. It isn't a one time thing, every day you slowly let go a little bit at a time until one day it doesn't hurt so bad. She also knew something else, she loved him more than anything. She'd watched him change and become who he was now. She'd watched him become a loving person who believed himself and believed in other people. And he fell in love, or at least started to.
At that thought Jack narrowed her eyes. Visions of Samantha Jones danced in her mind and she wanted to kill her! After Sam left lots of things changed. Riddick spent a lot of nights with Jack and clinging to her and his pillow at night. Every time he'd cling to her because of loneliness was one more time Jack promised to herself and any Higher source available that Sam would pay for this. Over time he stopped and Cara finally spilled the truth about her age and her life. The bond that had formed between her and Riddick was so close it was scary, and when Riddick didn't feel like he'd be robbing the cradle he took what his heart desired, hers! Jack had never been so happy in her life. The joy that sprung in her was amazing.
She looked back at Riddick and the tears that glistened on his cheeks. "Dad will you lay with me until I fall asleep?" she asked girlishly.
"Of course" he said.
When he settled in next to her she linked her fingers in his and said "Of course I'll always be your little girl, you saved me and killed what was bad and born into me what I needed. You're my blood and my life's bond" she whispered to him bringing tears to both their eyes.
In the quiet of the night Jack awoke from a night mare and narrowed her eyes, "Where ever you are be careful, I'm coming for you" she whispered to the night then went fitfully to sleep.