Keys to the Kingdom
Author: Red
Chapter 1; All the time in the world
"Damn it all to Hell!" Sam screamed breaking loose from Riddick. He watched her intently as she dropped to her knees.
"Damn it" she whispered again. Riddick dropped down to her level and laid his hands on her shoulders. Sam looked at him but the memories threatened to come again and she looked away.
"Sam I'm not asking anything of you but you don't have to be afraid of me" he told her.
"I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid of myself" she whispered to him.
"Look at me Sam" he said.
"I can't. I'm sorry", she told him standing up again. He watched her walk away and disappear into the night.
"It's ok. I've got time" he said to the night sky. She walked back to the house in silence drying her tears.
She walked in the front door and her mother and Jack looked up at her.
"I'm sorry about that" she said. They both nodded at her.
"Sam" she heard and turned to look at Dillion. God, how he'd grown. He was 13 now, she couldn't believe how much he'd changed and all she'd missed. He was close to her height now and his brownish red hair he kept in a short cut but the curls to twisted around his face. She could see where his shoulders were starting to broaden and square out and his face was losing it's little boyish look.
"Hey Dillion" she said finally smiling at him. He returned her smile.
"You alright?" he questioned.
"Ya, I'm just fatigued and worn out from the traveling" she said. He nodded to her.
"Dillion you better get to bed, you've got work to do early in the morning. Sam needs to rest as well. You guys have all the time in the world" Brianna said.
Oh how Sam wished that were true. He nodded and hugged Sam goodnight. He walked over to Brianna and kissed her forehead "Good night Mom" he whispered and tears again threatened Sam's eyes. He walked over to Jack and they knocked their fists against each other in some sort of secret shake and then both crossed their chests. Sam cocked an eyebrow.
Riddick entered the house just as Dillion and Jack shared their nightly hand shake and he smiled. He saw Sam's back straighten some in realization he was behind her.
"Hey, good night Riddick", he said.
"'Night man, get some shuteye. We've got a hell of a lot to do tomorrow", Riddick said to him. Then Dillion disappeared into the hallway.
"Well Jack we've got a lot to do tomorrow as well we should head off to bed as well" Brianna said standing, Jack nodded. She went to Riddick and wrapped her arms around Him in a goodnight hug. He held her tight.
"Goodnight" she whispered to him.
"Sleep sweet baby" he told her.
She walked to Sam and hugged her tight. "It's good to have you back, we've missed you so much" Jack whispered in her ear. Brianna got up and hugged them both and then her and Jack slipped off to bed.
Sam sighed and dropped onto the couch. Riddick stayed standing by the door gazing at her.
"You don't have to remain standing there" Sam said without looking up.
"I know" he told her.
"I'm not going to run off again. You can sit down" she said finally looking at him. He crossed the room and sat down by her.
"Everything's so different now", she said quietly.
"Nothing ever stays the same Sam".
"He called you Riddick", she commented.
"What?" he asked.
"Dillion called you Riddick. When I was here before we'd always referred to you as Gabe", she said.
He nodded, "He knows".
"He knows what?" she asked.
"He knows that I have a past and for protective reasons my name is now Gabe, but he calls me Riddick at home as does everyone else. Outside and around others I'm still Gabe though" he told her.
At home, everyone at home calls him Riddick. He called this home she thought and then realized it was his home. He fit in, but do I?, she asked herself. She just looked at him.
"You want to know why I ran away?" she said.
"No I don't, I know why you ran away" he said.
"What?" she asked him.
"You can never go home again" he said.
She fully felt the weight of his words. She nodded her head "No I can't" she said.
"Everything is different now Sam, but only to you. What you went through and where you've been has changed who you are, but we still feel the same about you. Now is when the decision is made, it's how you choose to react Sam, that makes it what it is" he told her.
"You can't know what it's like" she told him.
"I suppose I can't. I'd have no idea about being separated from my child, to live in a little room made of four small walls, to go to bed but never find sleep because you know the second you let your guard down someone in one way or another will use it against you. No I guess I wouldn't know anything about living day in and day out never having an actual conversation with people and no one ever knowing who I am. Then one day being able to return home to people who welcomed me with open arms no questions asked" he said and looked at her.
"You're right Sam I wouldn't know anything about that, I've never had that" he said. She opened her mouth to speak but he waved his hand to silence her.
"Let me tell you what I would know about, I would know what it's like to have my child ripped from me and know there isn't a fucking thing I can do about it but pray like hell that she'll come back one day, I would know what it's like to live my entire life closed in by walls of all different kinds and never have a conversation with a person, never be able to let someone know who I am because I don't even know who that is. I know about being someone I was forced to create, about never letting anyone inside here" he said tapping his forehead.
"And about never letting myself live outside it's confines because it was to dangerous. Then one day I met this person who already knew all of that, she excepted me as I was and didn't want to change or fix me. She actually liked me broken. She didn't care about all the other things in my life, she just wanted to be part of it" he finished.
"Riddick things are complicated now", she started and he silenced her once again.
"I'm not asking or pressing anything Sam. I'm telling you about what I went through. Do you think it was easy for me to be the way I was with you? It wasn't, it was the hardest fucking thing I've ever done. I opened my eyes to you and I did more than tell you my life, I showed you my life.
You knew what happened without a doubt. I left myself in a very vulnerable place but for the first time in my life I thought fuck it, it's worth it. If it means that the nightmares may go go away or that somehow I may be able to build some kind of a life for myself that isn't a complete lie. I didn't care that it was hard or that sometimes my brain screamed at me to close up and not let you in anymore. But if it allowed me another day of feeling alive it was worth it" he told her.
"I know it was hard for you Riddick, it was hard for me too. I wanted you to open up, I knew you needed to. It'd kill a human being to walk around locked inside themselves day in and day out. You were there for Jack and you supplied what she needed", she said.
"And she gave me what I needed, don't you even suggest she didn't" he told her.
"I wasn't going to, but she was there with love and encouragement. You needed someone to open up to Riddick, someone to share the things with that you were afraid would hurt her" Sam said.
"There were things that she and I didn't talk about, but it wasn't because we couldn't. Mine and Jack's bond is thicker than blood, she taught me how to love Sam, Jesus she showed me that love exists", he said.
Things weren't going as Sam had wished they would. She knew coming home was going to be hard, but she never expected it to be like this.
What's happened to me?, she wondered. She shook her head and sighed.
"Riddick I can't really talk right now, for some reason everytime I got something to say it comes out wrong, it's like I've put a block in my head and I can't move past it", she told him.
"It's ok I told you I'm not asking anything of you, I just wanted to let you know you don't have to be afraid of me. I'm not going to threaten you in any way. Just don't let what you have slip through you hands Sam".
"I don't feel like I've got that much", she said softly.
"Bullshit, you've got a mother that loves you, you've got Dillion who loves you and you've got me and Jack" he finished.
I've got him and Jack, he didn't say you've got Jack and I who love you, she thought to herself. What am I thinking, love was never part of what he and I was. She started to say something but a piercing scream from outside took away the opportunity to.
She and Riddick both sprung to their feet and ran outside. There was what looked to be a small girl running towards the house screaming.
"Shit!" Riddick cursed and took off towards her. Sam stood stunned on the porch and watched.