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Chapter 11

Carolyn watched the video monitor from her quarters. She had been there for two days watching him. One minute quiet and passive, the next screaming and breaking things. Some of the guards had managed to get part of the furniture out of the room before one of his tyrants but the rest now lie in pieces on the floor. The mattress of his bed was also on the floor half shredded, clothes torn apart, food thrown against the wall, and mirrors shattered. They reminded her of his mind. Shattered.

Riddick was pacing at the moment, quietly talking to himself. He was deeply into his own thought, somehow trying to put them all back together. The man she knew was in there but how deep under what she was seeing, she didn't know. She picked up her cup of hot tea and continued to watch him. Every once in a while she thought she could see flashed in his eyes that familiar to her but they disappeared as quickly as they came.

How can I reach him, she thought. How can I get through the walls of hatred that he has put up?

The look in his eyes right before they put her in the box. That was the look she wanted to see. That would tell her that some part of him that she cared about was still there. She sipped carefully, her tea. She winced in pain from the heat going over the split in her lip. Touching it gingerly she smiled a sort of sick smile.

The captain will get his, she thought.

Since Riddick's breakdown the captain had been trying to take liberties with her but was learning the hard way she wasn't so easy to tame. Her gaze went back to Riddick. Now he was calm. She wanted to go in and see if she could reach him but feared he would go into a fury before she could.

The door behind her opened. Carolyn didn't look back, she knew it was Imam. He came to her side and crouched down to have a look at the monitor for himself.

"Has there been any change?" he asked. Carolyn shook her head. "He is in there, Carolyn, I know that he is." This time, she nodded.

"I know he is. We just need to be able to reach him."

"Only you can do that. You were the one who helped create the man that he became. Now it is up to you to help him rediscover that man."

"I don't know if I can do that. I'm not that strong."

Imam grabbed her shoulder and turned her around looking deep into her eyes.
"Yes, you are, Carolyn," he said strongly. "That is what he sees in you. Your strength is a gift that not all others have. I know it, you know it, and so does he. You can bring him back. Touch him in his heart. That is where he knows you. The heart will heal the mind."

Her eyes left him and went back to Riddick. He was sitting with his back against the wall; knees up, arms wrapped around them, and head resting. It was as if he were trying to wrap himself into a little ball. Imam was right. She had to try to reach him. He was their only hope for escape and survival. That was her practical side talking. The other side wanted him back for her.

She slowly got up, shedding the blanket she was wrapped in, and put down her cup. Turning to Imam she sighed. "I'll try."

Going to the door she realized how scared she was. She never feared Riddick as much as she did at this moment. Before, he was calculating and calm. When he did anything it was with great thought and with method. This man in the next room was pure emotion. No thought, no method, no calculation. He was more dangerous now than he ever was before.

She went through the door, walking only a short distance to his. Standing there she contemplated what she would say, what she would do. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.

She almost expected him to rush her and tackle her but he was still against the wall. He hadn't moved. Cautiously, she moved into the room. The door shut behind her. The air was heavy with the smell of rotting food and sweat. It was like an animal's cage. Never taking her eyes off of him, she walked around the room looking for a quick escape route in case he went into one of his fits of rage. Still, he hadn't moved.

Maybe he's sleeping, she thought.

He hadn't in two days. So much rage was let loose in this room, he had to be exhausted. Slowly she approached him. Step by step, closer and closer, she could feel he wasn't asleep. Although frightened, she kept moving forward.

What was he waiting for? She wondered. He knows I'm here, why doesn't he acknowledge me? He answer came in the next instant.

Riddick lunged!

Carolyn had no time to move. He was up and on her before she knew what was happening. She fell back hard onto the floor. His full weight on her stomach, straddling her, hand around her neck. Carolyn's shock was apparent on her face. She began to struggle. She stopped suddenly. He wasn't hurting her. His hand hadn't tightened around her throat; it just held her in place. His eyes were wild, his teeth bore in a snarl, and yet, he hadn't hurt her. The other hand that lie flat on the floor above her head, moved to her hair. He looked as if he was analyzing it. The texture, the color, even the smell. He bent down to it and sniffed it like an animal would.

Coming back up, he put his nose against her neck and sniffed that too. His face then came to hers. Four inches away, she could feel his breath. He stared at her with eyes unrecognizable to her. She did not know this man. As quickly as he lunged before he took his hand off of her throat, grabbed both her arms, pinned them above her with one hand, and held her there. His free hand traced down her cheek to her neck, to her shoulder, down her chest, to her stomach. Carolyn was truly afraid. Shaking, she tried to act calm but she knew Riddick, in whatever state he was in, could smell fear. Right now she reeked of it.

"Riddick," she whispered. His eyes looked into hers uninterested. "It's me. it's Carolyn." His hand moved up her stomach to her chest stopping over her left breast. He put his hand on it.

"Riddick, please, it's me."

Quickly, he tore her shirt open. Her mind raced. What was he going to do?

His eyes looked down at the exposed skin. Carolyn's breath was coming faster and faster; he could see her chest moving up and down under his hand. Cocking his head to one side, he seemed to look at her skin with the fascination of a child. She would have given anything to be inside his mind and know what he was thinking. His fingers went to the lump that was her obedience implant and circled it gingerly. Slowly.. His eyes came to hers. As she gazed back at them she saw something. Something familiar. His hand came off of her chest and went to her bound hands. He released one of them and took it in his. He gently guided it to his own bare chest and placed it on his implant. Her eyes followed their hands and watched where he placed them, then back to his face. He laid her hand flat with his hand over it and pressed. A flash in his eyes, something there, something she recognized.

"Riddick?"

Keeping her hand where it was, he bent down to her neck and nuzzled his nose in it. "Carolyn," he said so softly that she barely heard it. He came up and stared deep into her eyes, again, pressing on the hand on his chest. She quickly glanced around the room and then back to him, the hand squeezed again.

He was talking to her! He was telling her something. They were being watched. Yes, that's it, they were being watched. Carolyn almost felt relief until his eyes changed. The air went from, hope to death in an instant. She had seen remnants of Riddick only a moment ago but now they were gone. He quickly pushed her hand off of his chest and placed it under his knee at her side. He brought the other one down to the same position. She was now completely restrained and he had both hands free. He opened her shirt up wider, exposing her bra. He traced the material with his fingertips.

"Riddick, please, it's me," she pleaded. His eyes flashed to her and then back down to her exposed skin. "Don't do this. Fight, Riddick."

His hands now ran over her breasts in sheer fascination. Her mind was going wild. This was not how she pictured this. She started to struggle. This seemed to anger him. He struggled with her. Somehow she managed to free an arm. Quickly, it came up to his face and punched him with all the frustration she could muster. Riddick's head snapped back just enough to be a little off balance. Carolyn pushed up with her hips as Riddick fell backward. She scrambled to her feet and went for the door. Before she could reach it he grabbed the back of her hair, stopping her in her tracks. Carolyn yelled out in pain as he swung her around to face him. Still holding onto her hair he pressed her against him and stared into her face. His teeth were bared as he spoke to her.

"Don't come back here," he hissed. His deep voice oozed with hate. "I don't need you."

He then shoved her away so hard she hit the back of her head against the door. It opened and Imam quickly grabbed her and drug her out of the room by her shoulders. The door slammed shut as Riddick took a step toward it. Carolyn jumped up but fell back into Imam's arms. Quietly, against his shoulder, she cried. The Holy man could do nothing but hold her while she let it all out. Finally, she wiped her eyes and straightened up. Even at her worst, she was strong. Imam smiled at her.

"What?" she asked him.

"Your strength. I admire it so," he answered. She shook her head at him.

"Funny, I don't feel strong."

"When the time comes, you will." Imam put his arms around her and walked her back to her room.

On the other side of the door, Riddick put his head against the hard, cold steel, as if he was listening.

Was that really Carolyn? Or just another dream?

He turned to face his room, not really seeing it but just knowing everything was there. He slid down the door and went to his hands and knees. So tired, he thought. He crawled to his mattress and lay on his back staring at the ceiling. He tried to search his mind and remember the last few days, but he couldn't. He couldn't organize his memories. The only images that flashed in his mind were hatred and revenge. He tried to feel something, anything, other than those two things, but he was numb to all other emotions. Riddick's body gave up the struggle. Quietly, quickly, he fell into a restless, dream-filled sleep.

Carolyn watched him as he went to the mattress. She shook her head and then looked at Imam.

"He's in there. I saw it," she said.

"Then you must reach him."

"You saw what happen. If I hadn't hit him, who knows what he would have done."

"Yes, I know, but you said yourself, he is in there. It is just going to be difficult to reach him."

"I know, I know," she sighed, "I know you're right. I just don't know how."

They continued to watch him as he tossed and turned on the mattress. She touched the screen. "Keep fighting them, Riddick. Keep fighting."

The captain sat at the table in his quarters. He enjoyed the display he had just witnessed between Riddick and Carolyn. He smiled at his achievement. Looking across the table the medic shared his glee.

"Now, that he has been broken, what's next?" the medic asked.

"Now it is time to train the wild animal," the captain replied.

"And we do that by?"

"Pain, " the captain rolled his eyes to the ceiling. He seemed to be in a state of ecstasy with the idea of inflicting pain on Riddick. He brought his head back down and focused on the medic. "Do you know how they train prison dogs?"

"How?" the medic asked.

"The handler is the only one that can handle the dog. It must be trained to want to kill anyone or anything else. They accomplish this by rewarding the dog when it does well and inflicting pain when it doesn't. Riddick's implant will be out control."

"I see. So, we give him good things when he does what we say and zap him when he doesn't." The captain eyed the medic with an evil smile.

"We?" The medic blinked wildly as his smile faded away. "There is no we, doctor. Riddick will only respond to me. I will be the master."

"I will have no control? He hates me. He could kill me at any given moment."

"Then I suggest you not piss him off or me." The medic squirmed with this new information. He didn't like the idea of Riddick running around with the capability of killing him at will. "Don't worry doctor, I need you too much to let him loose on you."

"When do we start?"

"Right away."

"The woman and the priest?" The captain rubbed his inner thigh remembering the solid knee that Carolyn had placed there yesterday during one of his "taming" sessions with her. It doubled him over for a good half hour. Still, he loved a fiery woman. The captain smiled.

"Let them watch. Maybe this way when they see how Riddick is broken they will be a little more compliant to our wishes."

The medic nodded his head, got up and left the room. The captain watched Riddick on the mattress. His body was never still, always thrashing about, surrounded by horrible dreams. Nothing better than this, the captain thought. He was so pleased with himself he poured another drink, put his feet up, and laughed so loud you'd have thought HE was the mad man.

Chapter 12

Carolyn ran down the corridor toward the loading bay. She kept looking back as if she expected to see Riddick running behind her as he had done so many times before. Imam appeared in her sights as she darted through the doors. He caught her as she tripped into his arms. She went limp, letting herself realize they were about to leave him. All her emotions were intertwined. It wasn’t like a sacrifice this time. It felt like desertion.

"He won’t come with us," she said.

"He can’t," said Valia from the door of the ship. Carolyn looked up at her.

"Why?" she demanded. Carolyn stood up to face her.

Valia said nothing at first.She let out a sigh and looked at Carolyn. "He can’t distinguish things anymore. He doesn’t know whether to go with you or stay here. It’s easier for him to just give in and stay here. Didn’t you see that in your quarters?"

Carolyn was confused. Riddick was in there. Didn’t she see that? Didn’t she know that he let her go and he had been the man they had known? She had a gut feeling there was something more to all of this than anyone knew. She played it safe.

"Please Valia, help him get away from here. Don’t let him die here. Not like this."

"He will be alright here with me. At least he’ll be alive." Carolyn realized that Valia was helping them escape so she could have Riddick all to herself.

"Why don’t you and Riddick come with us?" she asked.

"Someone has to be here to make sure the weapons system and radar doesn’t work while you escape," she answered. "That someone is me." Imam walked to Valia and put a hand on her shoulder.

"May God keep you in a good light. Thank you." he stepped aboard the ship, sat down and buckled himself in. Carolyn went to her next.

"Thank you." Carolyn took Valia’s hand and squeezed it.

"He will be alright. I promise."

Carolyn took a step to the door but stopped. She spun around and combed the entire bay with her eyes. She could feel him.

Where was here? Was he watching her leave?

Yes, he was. Before going into the ship, she put her hand over her implant, over her heart and scanned the bay. At some time their eyes would briefly look at each other even if she couldn’t see him. He would see her. The other hand went into the air as a final wave good bye. With tears welling she turned away from Valia and entered the ship. Carolyn sat in the pilot seat, flipping switches and readying the ship for take off. The pirates spared no expense. Full auto pilot, escape pods, hidden compartments, the works. She set course for the nearest port and set full auto-pilot. It would take a week to get there but she welcomed the time to sort out her mind. She could also get some sleep. Carolyn watched Valia leave the bay. She was headed to the weapons station. She still couldn’t believe she was going to leave without him. 

High above the cargo bay floor, Riddick stood looking down at her. She was waving good-bye to him. She could feel his eyes on her even if she didn’t know where he was. He’d miss that. He put his hand over his heart and smiled. At least she would be safe, he thought. He heard the ships engines start up. His head hurt with his jumbled thoughts. He wanted to stop her from leaving by telling her he needed her help. He wanted to tell her good bye. He knew he would never see her again the minute that ship left.

Then again, part of him wanted to take the easy way and give in to all that the captain wanted. It would be easy. Yet, captain hadn’t counted on Carolyn being so deeply imbedded in his mind. If she hadn’t been, he would have been lost in insanity. 
He couldn’t watch Carolyn leave. As the engines began to fire he turned away. It was time to set his plan into motion. As the door closed behind him, he heard the ship take off. He kept his back to the sound of her departure. He leaned against the closed door looking at the ceiling. He hoped he had done the right thing. 

The ships engine’s roared to life. Carolyn flipped one more switch and waited for the force of take off. Imam looked at her. She looked back.

"I can’t." she said.

Valia stood in the middle of the weapons room. Everything was disabled. She watched the bay as the ship roared away. They were on their way to freedom and she was on way to happiness. She turned way from the bay and headed out the door. There was a quick flash across the cargo bay floor. Valia didn’t see it; Valia didn’t care, she was on her way to Riddick. Riddick went back to the festival in the arena room. He didn’t want to draw any suspicion. He came through the door and the group of men applauded. Riddick smiled. Somewhere in his mind he loved this. He took a bow and put his hands up in thanks. The captain got up and came over to him.

"Well? Don’t keep me in suspense. Is she worth the wait?" he salivated over his answer. Riddick slapped his back.

"Worth by far more than that," he said. "Lips soft as clouds, yet a body hard as nails." The captain rubbed his hands together.

"I can’t wait to get my hands on her tomorrow," he growled. He looked at his watch. "Well, it’s past midnight, so it’s tomorrow. I think I’ll go have a little taste now."

He started to walk but Riddick stopped him.

"I wouldn’t," Riddick said.

"Why not?" He smiled at the captain.

"She may be a fiery one but I’m no slouch myself. She wouldn’t be worthy of your efforts right now. I think I wore her out." Riddick couldn’t believe how easy the lies were coming out of his mouth. It’s easy to lie when it’s something you dream about, he thought to himself. The captain looked at him and then smiled slapping him playfully on the cheek.

"That’s my boy. I knew you’d fit right in here."

The men all roared their approval of his supposed conquest of Carolyn. As Riddick sat among the men listening to their chatter he saw Valia enter the room. Their eyes locked. She smiled. He winked at her and motioned her to come sit down. She sat beside him.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yes, why?" he answered.

"She’s gone, you know." He nodded.

"Yes, I know." She looked at him with wonder.

"How is it that you know?" He smiled at her, looking into her eyes.

"Does it matter?"

He looked around at all of the men. He still felt like one of them. She tried to see his mind but couldn’t get a clear picture of it. It was as if he had walls around certain parts that no one could see through. Riddick turned back to look at her. She wasn’t sure if she knew him or not.

"Don’t stay in there too long," he said, "You might go crazy."

Her heart went icy. For the first time she could remember.. she was afraid of him. The surface was him.. the man she loved, but underneath that she had no idea who he was. She sat staring at him with wide eyes. He never flinched at her surprise nor did he bother hiding the fact that he was in turmoil over his emotions. His eyes were stone cold as she scanned them for signs of life.

"Riddick?" her voice trembled.

"What do you want to know? Do you want to know if I’m sane? Do you want to know if I’m crazy? Do you want to know what I’ll do next?"

She nodded at all the questions. Riddick smiled like a snake ready to strike. His hand came to her face and touched her cheek. In his touch, she felt only death. "I can’t tell you the answers to those questions."

"Why?" she squeaked. Again he smiled that smile.

"That would ruin all the fun."

She took his hand off of her face and tried again to enter his mind. He never took his eyes off hers. In his mind she found complete chaos. His thoughts were of nothing in particular. No rational thought at all. All she could make out was blood, death, and Riddick bathing in it. She moved herself back away from him; still their eyes were locked. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back into his face.

"Don’t run away. You helped make me what I am, enjoy all you have accomplished."

Riddick sat back on the heap of pillows. His mind could feel her whenever she entered it. That was one nice side effect of their mind fucking. He now had another sense to use against them. He could feel and sometimes even see them in his mind. He could feel someone’s mind now. He didn’t know how to control it but it was there. Valia could no longer do anything to him.

Watching all of the men, he didn’t hear any of their mindless chatter. He could sense Carolyn and knew she was alive. That helped. She was away from this place and on her way to safety. This was not her fight. She wanted to help him, he knew that but there was no way he was going to survive all of this. He didn’t want her around for that. He didn’t want her around to see what he was capable of. The captain and Valia were right. He was crazy. What they hadn’t counted on was the fact that he was more dangerous now than before.

He smiled quietly to himself. Vengeance comes on swift wings, gentlemen, God help you, he thought.

He knew he had to get going soon. The captain would discover Carolyn was missing early tomorrow. He had to have his plan in motion before then. There would be no stopping it once it was started. He watched the captain now. The fat man looked down at his watch. He stood up and made his announcement.

"It’s one o’clock! Time for a change of the guard. All men on post will be relieved. To your stations," he ordered.

It was the nightly change of the guards. Riddick had listened to this for the past week. It never took place at the same time. It was at the discretion of the captain when to make the change. He said it was his way of keeping the men on their toes and making sure anyone trying to sneak away wouldn’t know when there would be a change of guards. All of the men around him got up and began to run to some designated place. At the same time other guards began filtering in from their stations. They all came to the captain, saluted, and handed them their report disk. This way the captain could go over all records to see if anything unusual had gone on. It dawned on Riddick the report disk from the weapons officer might reflect something of Carolyn’s escape. He flashed a look at Valia. She looked back at him with no emotion. He motioned his head toward the captain.

She knew what he was wondering about. She smiled. She had killed the weapons officer and made it look like he had been killed in the escape of Carolyn and Imam. He wouldn’t be discovered for a little while. The captain looked down to his watch again.

"It is now five minutes after. ALL reports should be in," he yelled. He slipped the disks into the counter in his belt. After a few seconds the counter beeped. "There’s one report missing."

Riddick turned back to Valia. His whole plan counted on the fact that there wouldn’t be extra guards anywhere. This was bad. Suddenly, the last guard came running through the door. He stood in front of the captain holding out his report disk. The captain looked at the guard, then his watch, then back to the guard. The guard’s hand shook while waiting for the captain to take the disk. Riddick was sure if he could see the face under that mask that it would show fear. The captain slowly reached out and gently took the disk. Putting it in his counter he smiled at the guard.

"Do you know what time it is?" he asked. The guard nodded.

"Yes, sir," he replied, the sound of the voice box echoed through the room.

"Really? What time is it?" The guard tilted his head down to see his watch. Right as he did the captain came up with his fist under his chin knocking him backward, almost falling on Riddick. The captain stood over the fallen guard. "You will never be late with these reports again, do you understand?" The guard nodded his head.

"Yes, sir," he said.

"Get up!" The guard got up but seemed unsure of his balance. Riddick got to his feet and stood behind the man as he swayed back and forth. "If you are ever late with these reports again, you will do combat in the ring with him," he said pointing at Riddick.
The guard’s masked face turned to the side realizing Riddick was standing behind him. The guard nodded.

"Yes, sir."

"Now, get out of my sight before I change my mind and have you killed for pissing me off and ruining my manicure." The man got his footing and brushed passed Riddick. He watched the guard leave and suddenly felt sick to his stomach. With everything going on he was surprised he was still functioning. He looked down at Valia and then at the captain. He returned Riddick’s look with a question.

"Are you alright, Riddick? You don’t look so good."

"No, sir, I’m a little worn out from tonight’s festivities. I would like to be dismissed."

"Of, course. You’ve earned a good night sleep. Report to me in the morning for your official post appointment. You’re one of us now, I guess you should have responsibilities."

"I can hardly wait," Riddick smiled a sly smile and tipped his head down to the captain. "Until the morning then." The captain waved him away and returned to his seat. 

Riddick turned to leave; Valia’s hand came to his leg. He stood looking down at her. Her eyes pleaded with him to take her with him. His mind raced. Leave her here or take her with him. The conflict raced on. Finally he put a hand down to her. He had a few questions for her. She placed her hand in his and he pulled her up. They began out the door and the captain interrupted their exit.

"I thought you were tired, Riddick," the captain said. Riddick turned to face him.

"I am, but what if I wake up in the middle of the night hungry?" The crowd of men laughed. The captain wiped his eyes.

"I like you. I like your style. Take her, use her as you will," he waved them away. 

Riddick took her by her elbow and escorted her out. After clearing the doorway he flipped her around to face him.
"I don’t know what your game is exactly, but let me warn you now. You have betrayed me before. I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. I thought you took care of the guard and the records."

"I did," she pleaded, "I swear."

"Then what the Hell was that?"

"I don’t know. Maybe someone found his disk and brought it in his place."

"Remember, if you’re playing me, I will kill you." He brought her close to his face. "You know I won’t even lose sleep over it. Thanks to you, killing you would just be another dead girl in my dreams. Do we understand each other?" She nodded. "Good, now get lost!" He shoved her away from him and started down the hallway again. She called after him.

"You need me, Riddick. You need my help if you want to live." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her. He took off his goggles. Even from 20 feet she could see the hate.

"I don’t plan to."

He turned back around and disappeared around a corner. She stood there, mouth open. He had planned revenge but he had also planned to take himself and everyone else with him. She had to find a way to escape and take him with her. She couldn’t let him commit suicide. She quickly rushed to the computer’s mainframe. She had some things to do. The fallen guard watched the two of them in the hallway, arguing. Riddick had planned to kill everyone on the ship including himself. That couldn’t happen.

"I don’t think so," the voice box quietly purred.

Riddick went to his quarters. Sitting on the bed he contemplated what he was going to do. Carolyn was gone and he was insane. He couldn’t think straight half of the time. There was no way to repair the damage done. Even if he lived and found Carolyn again, how could he trust himself?

For the first time in his life, he didn’t believe in himself. In the past, he was the only person he did trust. Now, he couldn’t. The only person he did trust or believe in was far away from him and his madness. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. He had to find the way to the computer room to set the self-destruct and disable the escape pods. If he was going to die so was everyone else. This way his revenge would be complete. He would avenge Jack with the sacrifice of the entire crew. Even then, in his mind, it wouldn’t be enough. He would make sure there would be suffering to rival God’s own vengeance on the sinners of the universe. The captain, by God, will suffer the most. He will suffer and I will watch every moment of it. He put his hands up to his face and covered it. He tried to analyze his thoughts but he couldn’t get them into a certain order. What did he have to do first? He focused on the answer. Find and set the self-destruct, kill the captain, wait for the end. He smiled.

Close enough, he thought.

Chapter 13-14