Chapter 9
They had a pile of movies on the floor in front of the TV. I had come down from the high of my joyride with Dom, and the three drunks were on a second wind. Mia was sleeping so Letty was making the food this time. Strawberry daiquiri margaritas and buffalo wings. The wings box had been discarded in the middle of the floor, and the white counter, which had been hospital-clean when they'd returned, was now littered with sloshes of melting margarita, bits of chopped fruit, and a small glass jar with rhinestones around the lid. I wondered...but was too tired to ask. They were all laughing, messing around. I was exhausted. I sat under Leon's arm and dozed on and off until everyone was ready to watch the movie.
Me and Leon stretched out on the couch together, my back against his front, his large arm draped over me, dragging small circles on the plane of my stomach with his fingertips, his hand on my shirt and gentle, not in it and invasive, touching the soft blue velour of another borrowed tank. For about ten minutes, there was nothing I wanted more than to lie there in his arms. I was feeling warm, safe, comfortable. I was starting to really like Leon. Genuinely appreciate him as a person, rather than just someone who got me hot. There was nothing hot about the way he was holding me now, and I didn't want there to be.
Until Dom sat down with a plate piled high with wings, and Letty jumped into his lap without looking, planting the plate on the front of his shirt. He tensed, looked like he'd kill her, but she was unphased.
"Ay, Papi," she said, exasperated with his temper, scolding him for it, almost. "Just take it off." I tried not to look. Really I did. But I couldn't stop myself. My eyes absolutely gravitated to him, glued to the naked contours of his torso, to the way his muscles played off each other with each nod of his head, bite of chicken, flick of his wrist, and luckily Leon was facing the back of my head because I know I was slack-jawed and drooling. Watched wide-eyed as Letty peeled the soiled white tee up over his head, kissing his bare, smooth chest. He smiled, picking up the wings and tossing them back onto the plate, setting it on the coffee table beside him. Vince came in, turned the light off, stretched out on his stomach on the floor with his face about a foot from the 54-inch screen.
"Let's smoke a dube," Letty said, out of nowhere, and Leon laughed into the back of my neck.
"Nah," Dominic said. "Not tonight." He looked at me, and Letty sulked back against his chest, folding her arms as he ate and the previews to the movie came up. I closed my eyes, Leon rubbing my upper arm and shoulder absentmindedly, and that gradually stopped and his breathing became deep and rhythmic. He was asleep, and they assumed I was asleep, too.
"Aight," Dom said quietly. "V, you got some?"
And they rolled, smoked quietly for a long time without saying anything.
"I'm so fuck dup," Vince said finally. "That's enough for me, guys." He flopped back down on the floor, watched, frozen and mesmerized, as rows and rows of uniformed children marched and an eerie voice sang 'Hey, teachers, leave them kids alone.'
There was a long silence, and through slitted eyes, I stole a glance around the room. V was motionless. Letty stood against the wall, finishing off the last few hits from a Cheech-worthy joint, and Dom sat in the chair, still, alert. I guessed he'd done less smoking than the others, or that he was high all the time and it didn't affect him. If Vince was conscious, he showed no visible signs of it, other than the fact that his eyes were open. Letty dropped the little stub she had left in an ashtray and trudged slowly to the chair, hauling herself laboriously up onto Dom's lap. She was antsy despite her subdued daze, wiggling, trying to get comfortable, and just as I was about to close my eyes again, she stopped, abruptly, and turned slowly to face Dom with a wiseass smirk as he fixed her with a heavy-lidded grin.
"What's that all about?" she whispered hoarsely. If Vince heard, he paid it no mind. I thought he was passed out.
"It's all about you, Mami,' he said, that rumble of a voice from deep in his chest, and obviously the sound of his voice had the same effect on her as it had on me. She leaned back into his body, starting a slow, rocking rhythm with her hands resting on his forearms, pinning them to the seat of the chair. He smiled into her throat, biting at the soft skin there and elliciting from her a low involuntary moan.
"What about Vince?" she asked breathily, and Dom laughed, grabbing a blanket off the back of the loveseat.
"Vince is long gone," Dom said. "Izzie and Leon are sleepin'. Relax."
I watched as he watched his fingers creep up her back, over her shoulder, down, down her front, under the blanket, and she opened her legs to him and arched her back, pushing against his hand. He chuckled low in his throat at her urgency, touching her a moment through the denim, then unbuttoned her baggy jeans, and she stood up to let them fall. I saw that she wore not panties but the string bikini bottom, and when Dom saw this, he grunted and pulled her back onto his lap. Draped the blanket over her sloppily. Slowly, tantalizingly slowly, teasing her, he untied first one side of the bottoms and then the other, so the front dropped down into his lap.
She leaned back, wrapping her arms back around his head, and he pressed his fingers into her armpit, biting it lightly before sliding his hands southward, and before he even reached the end of her ribcage, her legs were open, hidden by the blanket, and yet I saw, in the flashing light from the TV, his hand disappear under the pale, threadbare cotton of the blue throw. I could not breathe.
Dom watched her the whole time, watched the black satin of her hair move across his chest, the warm caramel of her fingers as they dug into his skin, the red flush rising in her face, the pink tip of her tongue as it sat on her upper lip…Watched all the colors of her body come alive under the touch of one properly-placed finger, watched the symphony of sensation he created in her, his eyes flashing in the light, devouring the masterpiece he was devising, as if he'd never get enough of seeing his work well done.
Just the tip of one forefinger, in just the right spot, pressing just hard enough, with just a little bit of rhythm, his body a statue, immaculately sculpted and almost completely stationary. Only the twitch of muscles in his forearm betrayed what he was doing, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, a brutal plunge of his hand, and Letty cried out. The blanket dropped unnoticed to the floor at the abrupt motion, and I could see…
Should have turned away but I wasn't thinking, wasn't breathing, and most definitely was beyond the muscle control it would have taken to turn my head…Two of his fingers buried to the hilt in her, the thumb of the same hand pressing hard and fast an inch above the fingers, and she was shaking all over, uncontrollably, her legs wide open, her hands on his hips behind her, her face to the ceiling, the back of her head resting on his shoulder.
"Come," he whispered against her throat, and pushed hard and rough, shoved his fingers deep into her body, and the rush of heat and wind on her skin, along with the assault he was dealing with his hand, made her seize up, stiff, silent, eyelashes fluttering like the wings of a moth, her mouth hanging open, lower lip trembling.
And as strange as I felt admitting it, I thought she was so beautiful as she came…Both of them together were so beautiful. And then, as if broken, as if completely drained, her body crumbled. He drew his fingers out of her slowly and sucked them, rubbing his cheek against hers, tied two hasty bows at her hips so the bikini bottom covered her again. He lifted the blanket off the floor and wrapped her in it as one would a small child, hugging her against him with both arms. He murmured something unintelligible against her forehead. She understood him, though, nodded.
"Vince," she said weakly from her cocoon. He was still, said nothing. "Vince!" He started and looked over at her, dazed and confused. "Fire up another dube." I snapped my eyes shut as Dom's slow gaze drifted toward the couch, moaned as if stirring in my sleep, rolling to bury my face in Leon, who breathed in and out sedately, without a care. Between my thighs I was sticky, and my face was on fire. Calm down. Calm down.
But I was tired. I lay, wracked with guilt, my heart pounding, listened
to Dom smoke weed and get hysterical, that grating laugh echoing through
my entire being, and slowly, slowly my body acquiesced to my silent commands
and I could sleep.
Chapter 10
I staggered through the front door at around eleven the next morning. My mother smiled, standing at the stove, and wiped her hands on her apron before pouring me a glass of orange juice.
"See?" she said. "Aren't you glad I took you to see that doctor?" I scowled at her over the rim of my glass.
"I'm a virgin, Mom. And that's not going to change any time soon." Not defensive humiliation or general adolescent hatred of my mother…It was self-disgust. I was pissed at myself. I'd had the chance to end this ache in me and I had pussed out…at the party. I was pissed because I wanted to have sex. And I wanted it now.
I stomped up the stairs and threw myself on my stomach on the bed. Played with the hem of my pillowcase, wanted to cry and didn't know why. PMS, probably. I was angry and guilty, felt like a pervert for not being able to look away. I felt like I had betrayed Leon, Letty, and Dom just by watching. I felt filthy and yet could not bring myself to regret it…Just one brief hint of an image from the night before entered my mind and I was humming again, hot all over, wet, out of control. I stood and stripped off my clothes, stood before the giant bath and filled it with cold water. I gasped as I sank into the water, freezing but instantly relieved. The hot, blood-filled agitation between my legs relented and I moaned and lay my head back against the tub, my arms hanging limp and weak at my sides. I fully intended to remain in the bath for the remainder of the day.
I would have, too, except about an hour after I'd climbed in, I became remotely aware that somewhere in the house a phone was ringing. Who the hell would be calling? I didn't even know this number. I pulled a bath sheet around my naked body and tracked the infernal aggravation to the kitchen.
"Hello?"
"Hey," a warm, intimately familiar voice.
"Leon? What's up, man?"
"I've been knocking on the door for five minutes," he said, laughing. "What the hell are you doing in there?" I said nothing, glanced dry-mouthed at the huge white towel, the only thing standing between me and utter nudity. "You gonna let me in or what?"
"Um…" I struggled to find the right words, the wrong words, any words…Then there were two intense green eyes locked on mine, a cocky, boyish grin with perfect white teeth, as his face appeared before me in the open kitchen window. Still speaking into his cell, he said softly,
"You naked under that towel?" My jaw dropped and suddenly, powerfully, I was afraid. Yet somehow I went to the door and opened it. I think he knew I was afraid, because he didn't grab me, kiss me…nothing. He just stood and stared down at me, and not at my body, either. He stared into my eyes, and I licked my bottom lip, the way I always did when I was nervous. He pocketed his phone and let his hands hang at his sides, palms up, as if to say…Whatever, baby. I'll take whatever you're ready to give.
It was this that always pushed my fear aside and made me want to give him everything. I took his face in my hands, and slowly, with a conscious effort to remain non-threatening, he roped his arms around my waist and clasped his hands at the small of my back.
I draped my arms to rest over his shoulders as we kissed, didn't want to start anything I couldn't finish, and yet I wanted to feel…Was pretty sure I wanted to feel what Letty had felt. Just the thought of Leon's hands on me…in me…had my heart racing and my juices pumping.
"You wanna see my room?" I asked breathily against his ear, and he moaned a little.
"Sure," he said, and I took one of his hands in mine, led him
up, and he followed mutely.
I was too nervous to look back at him, didn't turn to face him again until
we were in the airy golden splendor of my bedroom. The midday light glared
in through the windows, glowing on the hardwood floor, and a coolish salty
breeze set the curtains to dancing. My bed was neatly made since I hadn't
touched it the night before, gleaming like Leon's smile in the sun, covered
by a huge white down comforter and piles and piles of overstuffed white
feather pillows. I pulled him to it and stopped, my heart kicking the shit
out of my ribs. I didn't know where to go from there and he knew it, took
me under the arms, lifted me up, easily, above his head, and lay me back
across the king-sized mattress diagonally.
My body was completely alive all of a sudden, tingling and wholly alert, and even the soft terry cloth of the giant towel was abrasive. I squirmed as Leon settled next to me, my nipples hard inside the towel, dragging across the harsh fabric, and he knew. I don't know how, but he knew. Unhooked the towel where I'd tucked it to keep it on and unwrapped me slowly, staring down at my naked body with a heady glaze over those unreal eyes, splayed his fingers on my stomach, and moved to kiss my mouth gently, briefly, before closing his lips over a hard nipple and darting at it with a soft wet tongue. I couldn't keep the low moan in my throat, nudging my hips upward involuntarily, even though there was nothing there to meet me. My eyes were closed, and in my mind's eye I could see Dom's hand, first two fingers completely gone. I took Leon's hand in mine, shaking, and felt him grow still and attentive as I eased it down toward my navel, past it. I realized that his hand was trembling too, beneath mine, opened my eyes and searched his face, trying to read him. I was met only with an openly lustful and yet warm, encouraging smile.
"What do you want me to do," he whispered, and my body quaked to the core at the throaty rasp in his voice. I swallowed hard, my mouth dry, not able to breathe properly at all, my mind reeling.
"I want…" I said, my voice sounding foreign to me. "I want…" I could not finish the sentence, could not verbalize the answer my mind and body were thrusting to the fore… I want you to fingerfuck me senseless, Leon, two fingers, hard and fast, like Dom did to Letty last night…You missed a great show..
"You want my finger inside of you?" he prodded, and I nodded, tingling all over at his ability to read me so clearly. He smiled. "You got it." His hand drifted down on its own now and I closed my eyes, jolted as he touched me. "It's all right," he whispered against my throat. "Relax, I won't hurt you." I felt his hand dip down, over my pubic bone to the entrance to my body. He massaged there a minute with his whole hand, and I wanted to scream at him to get on with it before I lost my nerve. I was trembling hard, but it was a good tremble as he eased the tip of just one finger into me, to the first knuckle, and moved it back and forth a little. "You all right, Izzie?" I nodded. "You ready?" I nodded again, and he shifted his weight so he could get a more straight angle, and I felt his arm tense as he prepared to push down into me, and the high-pitched bleet of his cell phone split the air.
"Ah, Jesus fucking Christ." He sat up, left me naked and breathless to stare at him as he dug his phone out of his pocket, glancing at the caller ID before he picked up. "Dom, this better be really fuckin' good…Oh, Letty. Jeez, what do you want?" I couldn't hear her words, but her tone was loud and hysterical, and I watched the enraged frustration fade from his face, disbelief spreading over his features. "All right, all right, Mama. You're all right…Yeah…Yeah. I'll be right there." He stood up, turned and looked at me, a bit sheepishly, embarrassed, covering his erection with his hand as if to hide it and protect me from it. "You got any ice made? I have to go." I found my voice, then managed a strangled laugh.
"Ice? Yeah, I have ice," I croaked. I stood up, yanked a tight knit cotton floor-length tank dress down over my head and my body.
"I'm sorry, Izzie," he said, as we hurried down the stairs to the kitchen. I didn't know how to answer him, so I didn't speak. I found a Ziplock freezer bag and held it beneath the ice dispenser until it was full, narrowly resisting the urge to drop to the linoleum, spread my legs, and push the bag between them. I cleared my throat and sealed it, then handed it to him.
"There," I said, still beyond shaky. He headed for the door and I followed him there, holding it open, more to keep myself upright than to let him out. He paused on the stoop and turned back to me.
"Come with me," he said.
"What? No, Leon, I don't have any-"
"So what? No one will know. And maybe we'll get to pick up where we left off. Come on." I poked my feet into a pair of brown leather sandals and hurried down the street behind him.
"Where's Dom?" he asked, storming in through the front door, yanking me behind him, my semi-dry hair already coiling into tight curls from the heat and humidity.
"He left," Letty said, pacing back and forth in front of the refrigerator, wearing nothing but the white bikini and a pair of black leather daisy dukes. "Gimme the ice." Leon handed it over, and we followed Letty to the living room, where a beautiful blonde sat dazed and bleeding on the couch, Mia standing over him with a damp cloth, wiping at his face. She was crying and speaking a repetitive mantra of quiet, pleading commands.
"Keep your eyes open. Don't go to sleep. Keep your eyes open."
"Someone's gotta find Dom," Letty said. "Vince?"
"He left for a reason," Vince stated, leaning back against the wall and folding his arms over his chest. "If he's gone it's because he wants to be." Shot a cold glare at the back of the guy on the couch's curly blond head.
"Cut the shit, Vince," Mia said through her tears. "After all that's happened you still can't-"
"What'd he do?" Leon cut in, and Letty looked at him, scowling.
"Broke his face and left," she scoffed.
"Where you think he went, Let?" Leon asked.
"Think of the worst possible place for Dom to go when he's pissed. That's where he's at."
"Okay," he sighed. "Stay here, Izzie, I'll be back in an hour." I nodded, and he stole a rushed kiss from my lips before taking Letty's keys and heading back out the door.
Letty stood next to me, arms folded over her chest, and watched as Mia wrapped some ice in the towel and pressed it to the busted-to-shit side of whiteboy's face.
"C'mere, Letty," Mia said, "You think I should take him to a hospital?"
"How fuck would I know?" Letty asked, but she approached the couch anyway, cocked her head and looked into the guy's face thoughtfully. "No fucking clue."
"He get hit in the head?" I asked, and both girls nodded. "Let me have a look." I crossed the room and they stepped back, watching as I lifted his chin, all business now, all about what I had learned in school, what my father had taught me all those long nights studying medicine with him, his sharp tongue, cruel criticism, harsh impatience having made me an ungodly perfectionist, and almost freakishly well-versed in medicine, besides. "Look up at me, buddy. What's his name?"
"Brian," Mia said.
"Brian, can you hear me? Look up at me. Mia, give me that towel." I wiped the blood away, meeting his pure, cool blue eyes for a moment. Was everyone in this house utterly, devastatingly gorgeous except for me? "How old are you, Brian?"
"Twenty-six," he said, and I looked to Mia for verification. She nodded. His pupils were grossly asymmetrical, and I didn't like the way his tongue was thick and clumsy.
"You feel sick to your stomach?" As soon as I'd finished my sentence, his body lurched forward and he hurled, projectile-style. I just barely made it out of the way as the scant contents of his stomach shot across the room. "He's got a concussion," I said. "Can you stand up, Brian?" He looked at me, blinking, and a cloudy confusion watched over his features. "No, huh?" I wondered if his brain was seriously injured or if he had just been knocked blockless. "Well, can you touch your nose?" He did, his hand shaking. "Other hand." He did. "Okay." I grabbed Mia and pulled her to stand right next to me. "Who's this?" He paused a moment, struggling to focus those surreal eyes on her.
"Mia," he said.
"Mia who."
"Mia Toretto."
I grabbed Letty.
"What about her?"
"Dom's girl," he slurred. "Letty."
"Letty who?" Intense perplexity crossed his face.
"He don' know that," Letty said. "It's Garcia, Bri. Don't stress it, you weren't supposed to know that one." He smiled a little, still trying to get away with closing his eyes.
"What do you think?" Mia asked. "Dom's gonna be back. He's drunk out of his mind. I really don't think it's in Brian's best interest to be here when Dom gets back."
"Well, what else is there to do wit' 'im?" Letty dropped her arms to her sides and flopped down into the leather armchair.
"He needs to be watched," I said. "Why can't you take him to the hospital?" They all looked at me like I was retarded, and no one moved to answer me. "For at least 24 hours, he needs to be watched. Around the clock." A long snore came from the couch, and I looked at this Bri guy. Wondered why Letty, Leon and Mia had no problem with him, Dom wanted to kill him, and Vince was openly disgusted with his presence. I looked up at Mia, who was a little shaken up, having been crying, and sighed. "My parents aren't home. They'll be drunk when they come home. And they'll be gone again tomorrow morning. If we throw him in my bed now, they'll never know he was there. Someone help me get him in the car."